Hallway Hurts and Missing Shirts
by Kanagawa
Summary: Hiei hears a mysterious conversation behind a closed door. Funny one-shot!


Hallway Hurts and Missing Shirts

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Yu Yu Hakusho or these characters in any way, shape, or form. I have NOTHING to do with the series. This is just for fun and should not be associated with any company that could sue me.

A little OOC for some I think. Not great writing cause it was sudden but still fun!

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><p>The door to the elevator opened and Hiei stepped out. He was carrying a dozen roses to surprise Kurama with. He had made sure they were the freshest ones he could get. Kurama had always had a fondness for these ningen flowers.<p>

He silently thanked Botan again for this vacation. She had sent them all to the Bahamas for some down time, and it couldn't have come at a better time. Shizuru, Yukina and Keiko had been able to come along for a change. He was a little worried about having Kuwabara and Yukina so close together where he couldn't always watch her, but he had other things on his mind.

He wondered down the hall to his room. Odd numbers on one side, evens across the hall. He counted off the rooms as he passed them:

1072, Yusuke. That was connected to 1074, Keiko.

On the other side of the hallway, 1073, Kuwabara

1075, Shizuru

1077, Yukina

And 1076, Kurama. That was connected to his room, 1078.

He pulled his keycard from his cloak and slid it in the door. He entered and turned the light on.

The room's walls were covered in white wallpaper with a pattern of dark red diamonds running down the room. The carpeting was plush and soft under his feet as he removed his shoes. There was a small blue bathroom to his left and beyond that was a large bed. The sheets were white, like the wall, but they had no diamonds. There were many pillows on the bed. Two red, four white, and one long round one in the front. Kurama had told him that these were mostly for show and that only two of the pillows were for sleeping on. There was a TV hanging on the wall adjacent to the bed.

He walked in and laid his roses on the bed. He walked to the door that connected him and Kurama.

He knocked, no answer. He tried the door, but it was locked from Kurama's side.

"Hn." He grunted. He must be out.

He picked up the flowers and put them in a cup in the bathroom. Then he threw himself into the mass of pillows and switched on the TV. Kurama had taught him how to work it a few months ago and he found it very relaxing.

He found a show about ningens fighting each other in a box-like arena and settled in.

In this show, it seemed that one ningens would scream at the other, provoking him to attack. After that, some skinny guy would stand between them trying to pull them off one another. Then he'd fail, and the other two would go back to hitting each other. They also seemed very intent on sitting on top of the other one. It was very amusing.

After a while, he started to get bored with it. He decided he would go ask Yusuke what he could do for fun.

He walked out into the hallway toward Yusuke's room. He was just about to knock when heard a sound coming from Kuwabara's room.

"Trust me," he heard Kuwabara say through the door, "It'll be alright."

A soft moan.

"Just relax. Relax. Alright? I'll be gentle. I promise."

Hiei stepped closer to the door. There was another soft moan. It had a… feminine quality to it.

_Yukina! _Hiei thought.

"Shhhshhh." Kuwabara cooed. "It's alright. Everything is alright."

_What do I do now? _He thought, _I can't just let him-_

He thoughts were interrupted by Kuwabara talking again.

"Okay, I'm just going to push a little. This might hurt at first." He grunted.

"AHHHHH"

"Shhshhhhshhh" Relax it's alright."

"I'm sorry, keep going."

Hiei froze. That wasn't Yukina's voice.

"Alright. Here we go." Kuwabara grunted, louder this time.

"OW! GOD THAT HURTS!"

"Well it's going to at first, we know that. But you'll feel better when it's in."

Panting. "Fine. Fine. Just… just do it faster alright?"

"I'm doing my best, Kurama, just relax, will ya?"

_KURAMA?_

Hiei staggered backward. His mind reeled with questions. Suddenly he felt more emotions than he had ever felt, or wanted to feel, before.

_That kisama is in there with _my _fox!_

"Come on, push harder." Kurama said back. "Just hurry up, I want this over with."

He ran back to his room and shut the door behind him. He felt sick.

_I want this over with_? What was that oversized fucker doing in there to Kurama? _Hiei's _Kurama! What had Kurama done to owe him such a grotesque favor in return? He thought long and hard about his options.

Meanwhile, in Kuwabara's room, Kurama was writhing in pain on the bedspread.

Kuwabara sat up. He crossed his arms and looked down on the kitsune.

"Geeze Kurama, how the hell am I supposed to do this when you won't stay still?"

Kurama shook his head. "I'm sorry, I've just never been any good with pain like this."

"You ever did this before?"

"Yes, once when I was a child. One of my sensei showed me."

"Sensei?"

"Yes," he responded, getting his breath back, "he had always looked out for me back then, so naturally he was the only one I trusted. Anyway I'm ready to try again."

"Alright," Kuwabara said doubtfully. "But, I mean it, if I can't get it back in this time-"

"Just try, okay?"

Kuwabara sighed. He never thought this would be so much work.

Meanwhile, down the hall, Hiei had reached a decision.

He had to save Kurama. No matter what it cost him, he had to protect his lovely kitsune. He knew he could kill Kuwabara easily, but he remembered Koenma's warnings. So he resolved to just do whatever was necessary to save his fox. Even if it meant taking Kurama's place. He shuddered.

He slipped out of the room and back down the hall. He stood in front of the door and took a deep breath.

On the other side of the door, Kurama's moans turned into quiet screams. He was in pain! He had to act now.

Hiei kicked in the door and pounced into the room. In a single motion, he untied his cloak, letting it fall in the doorway and positioned himself to attack the ningen sitting on the bed.

"KUWABARA!" he shouted. He heard some of the other's moving toward their doors, but he didn't care. "I don't care what he owes you, you will never have him! Let him go!"

Kuwabara sat on the bed, dumbfounded. A shirtless Kurama sat up behind him.

Hiei's eyes darted to Kurama. Kurama looked a little confused and slightly embarrassed. Well why not! He had every right to!

Hiei jumped at Kuwabara. Kurama caught Hiei by the arms in a tangle of vines and pulled him to the floor. Hiei grunted and struggled against them, but it was useless.

"Kurama…" He looked up at his kitsune wide-eyed and hurt. "Why? How could you ever give yourself to _him? _That kisama! What did he do to you? What have you sold yourself for?"

Kurama stared back at Hiei, very confused. "What do you mean? Give myself? What are you talking about, Hiei?"

"I heard EVERYTHING!" Tears were showing in his eyes.

By now the rest of the gang had come to the door to see what all the yelling was about. They stood and surveyed the scene. Kuwabara sat atop a shirtless Kurama with Hiei bound to the floor.

Hiei was still struggling against the vines. "You were moaning, and he was telling you to relax. You were in pain! And all because of that kisama! Why would you let him have you like that? I thought…"

A small black gem dropped from Hiei's eye. It made a soft noise as it hit the floor "I thought I was…"

Kurama's eyes went wide. "Hiei…" he made a move to go to him but Kuwabara held him back.

"LET HIM GO!" Hiei shouted at him, "TAKE ME IF YOU MUST BUT LET HIM GO!"

Kuwabara crossed his arms. "What are you talking about, squirt? Kurama shouldn't be moving right now."

"And why is that? Did you hurt him? I'LL KILL YOU!" Kurama tightened the vines a little.

"No!" Kuwabara shouted back, "Because it'll make it worse!"

"Baka!" Hiei yelled back just as loud.

Yusuke, who was getting tired of all the shouting, stepped into the room. "EVERYBODY HOLD UP!" The bound fire demon glared up at him.

"Yusuke, don't interfere" Hiei warned.

Yusuke connected eyes with Hiei. Something in his eyes told Yusuke that he was ready to kill. He didn't need any other warning. He turned back to the bed. "Kuwabara, make what worse?"

He crossed his arms. "His shoulder!"

Silence.

"His WHAT?"

"Shoulder, Hiei," Kurama said gently. "Kuwabara, help me up."

Kuwabara hopped off the bed and gently stood his friend up. Kurama turned.

Hiei and Yusuke winced. Yukina and Keiko covered their mouths. Shizuru's eye twitched a little. Kurama's right shoulder had been knocked out of place. It jetted out in an awkward way, making his arm hang lower than his collarbone. His soft, pale skin was bruised and swollen.

"Kawaii!" Hiei cried out. He needed to tend to his lover's wound! He tried to move to him, but he was still bound to the floor.

Kurama stepped forward a little more.

"It's alright, Hiei-chan. I'm going to be fine."

"Wha…What happened?" Hiei looked up at his fox's swollen arm. How he longed to put a thousand healing kisses on that arm.

"It's actually embarrassing," Kurama started, "You see, I was trying out some new combinations with my plants, and I accidentally knocked my own feet out from under me. Wasn't ready for it and I took a bad fall. Pretty sad huh?" He said with a small blushing grin.

Kuwabara stood up and picked up Kurama's shirt. He handed it to him while he continued.

"Anyway, you went out and I didn't know where you had gone, so I went to Yusuke's room for help, but he had a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door."

Yusuke and Keiko blushed.

"Then I came to Kuwabara. I thought he'd be strong enough to pop it back into place. So he looked it over and started to try to fit it back in."

Kuwabara rubbed his neck. "Yeah, but I couldn't do it. He wouldn't stop flinching!" He sighed. "We almost had it when tiny here," he gestured to Hiei, "burst in."

Hiei snarled.

Yusuke scratched his head. "What did you think they were doing anyway?"

Hiei blushed. "Well… I…um…"

Kuwabara got it first. He gagged. Yusuke raised one eyebrow at him.

Kurama started to go over things that Hiei said in his head. He looked at Kuwabara, then at Hiei, and then it hit him.

"Well, that's not really important, is it?" Kurama offered. Hiei breathed a small sigh of relief. Kurama heard it.

Yusuke shrugged "I guess not. So… we're all cool now, right?"

Hiei looked at the detective, then at Kuwabara. And then his eyes met his lovely kitsune's. They melted his rage away. He nodded.

Kurama released him. His wrists were red from the vine's grasp. He stood up slowly.

"Hiei, you know how much I hate dealing with annoyances like this," he gestured to the hanging shoulder blade. "Would you mind?"

Hiei nodded. Kurama sat back down on the bed as Hiei made his way around the other side. He hopped up and knelt beside his love. Kurama pushed his hair out of the way, showing Hiei the dislocated bone and sending the sent of fresh flowers into Hiei's face.

Hiei took hold of Kurama's elegant arm. Kurama turned his head away and held a tighter grip on the shirt in his good hand. The crowd still in the door way held their breath, as if this were a life or death surgery. None of them were quite sure why either, it just felt appropriate.

Before anyone knew it, Hiei shoved the bone back into place. Kurama felt a small twinge of pain, like a needle pricking a nerve, but then it was over. Hiei backed up.

"Better?"

Kurama shook his arm and rolled his shoulder. He laughed a little. "Yes, Hiei. Thank you."

He began to put his shirt back on. He winced at how tender the bruise was, but not much.

Yukina stepped into the room. She looked up at Kuwabara and smiled. "That was really sweet of you to help him." She said in a quiet voice. Kuwabara blushed. So did Yukina. Shizuru snorted.

Yukina turned to the others. "So, is anyone hungry?"

The room was filled with agreements and then suggestions for where to go. Hiei began shooing the group off of his cloak that they had all been standing on in the doorway. Eventually they all started out and down the hall to the elevator.

Kurama and Hiei were last.

"By the way," Hiei said, "I have some roses for you in my room."

Kurama smiled and kissed Hiei on the cheek. "Thank you." Hiei smiled.

Kurama took his lovers small, warm hand in his pale pink one and they walked into the elevator.

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><p>Author's note<p>

Hey guys! I laughed so hard writing this, so I hope you did too. I got the idea for this from another story, but I can't remember what it was called so, unfortunately, I can't give any credit out. But that was a few years ago and I haven't thought about it for a while but my friend brought it up the other day and… well yeah. I think the original was a Fruits Basket because that was what she always read. Anyway, I couldn't find it so here's my brand new take on the "It's not what it sounds like" concept. Any way I'm sure a lot of you noticed that I used way more Japanese than usual, so there will be a key after this note. I just found a whole bunch of words I wanted to use… so I did! Please Review!

~Kanagawa

Kitsune- (any yyh fans probably know already) fox spirit aka Kurama

Baka- idiot/ fool

Kisama- (you) bastard

Kawaii- cute/ cutie


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